Feeling Set Aside (Alternately Titled: Maybe I Was just Bloated)

I’ve grown familiar to the digital neon light that breaks the darkness in our room.  We, the neon light and I, routinely meet around 3:00am—and about four other times throughout the night.  This baby girl pretends my bladder is a squeeze toy. 

But after a long and challenging day yesterday, I was less than pleased to be up and down all night.  When my alarm sounded, I hesitantly lobbed one leg out and then the next from underneath the covers.  I proceeded to hurl my body forward toward the bathroom, taking slow, shaky steps.  As I stood in the shower, I realized I used my face bar to lather my armpits.  UGH!   

The morning continued in that same vein.  I couldn’t get Sawyer’s 500-piece sippy cup put together.   I got behind the slowest driver imaginable.  I hit every light red.  My socks felt bunched up.  I was just plain angry.  Maybe it was the pepper in the soup last night or maybe I was just bloated.

I returned home and began cleaning the house.  At some point, I realized I was a bit tearful.  I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. 

Did the soup really have that much pepper? 

My heart felt heavy and my mind flooded with thoughts of frustration, disappointment, loss.  I recalled specific moments from the week prior when I felt slighted and overlooked.   Shortcomings quickly rushed to the front.  The word “inadequate” was on loop in my mind’s eye.  Then I paused, lysol in hand.  I thought: aren’t we supposed to be set apart, not aside? 

I was on the cusp of a sizable pity party when the next song that came across my Pandora station was a timely reminder of God’s provision in our lives…in my life. 

We are called to live in the fullness of His Grace.   

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found;

He is my light, my strength, my song;

This Cornerstone, this solid ground,

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace.

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!

My Comforter, my All in All.

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ Alone!  -who took on flesh,

Fullness of God in helpless babe.

This gift of love and righteousness.

Scorned by the ones He came to save:

Till on that cross as Jesus died,

The wrath of God was satisfied –

For every sin on Him was laid;

Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay.

Light of the world by darkness slain:

Then bursting forth in glorious day

Up from the grave He rose again!

And as He stands in victory

Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me.

For I am His and He is mine –

Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death.

This is the power of Christ in me;

From life’s first cry to final breath,

Jesus commands my destiny.

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand.

Till He returns or calls me home,

Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.