14 Things My 14-Month Old Does That An Adult Would Be Jailed For ( Or At Least Institutionalized For)

1. Removing other peoples’ shoes and sucking on their toes.
   
2. Assaulting the postmaster.
3. Running through the church knocking people in their knees.
4. Trying to take off other childrens’ pants.
5. Stealing food from strangers {read: snacks from other children}.
6. Indiscriminately lifting shirts of random people and sticking them in their belly buttons.
7. Hitting babies in the head with blunt objects including hammers and blocks of wood.
8. Removing his underpants {read: diaper} while standing in the front yard.
9. Flagrant destruction of property.
10. Tampering and opening mail that is not addressed to him.
11. Pushing, pulling, or face planting in the chests of others, especially women.
12. Taking his pants off at the park.
13. Peeing on other people {read: pediatrician’s nurse}.
14. Staging a standoff in the grocery store and resisting arrest {read: attempting to refuse lap belt in grocery cart}.

And this, right here, is why it takes a village…

“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”  Proverbs 22:6