Mom-a-logue

I’m a momma.

I spend a large amount of my time saying the same thing over and over and over again.  Like calling a child’s name or asking them to put their shoes back on or telling them, for the love, EAT YOUR DINNER!  (This principle is also true of my relationship with my husband who, though he is still young, can’t seem to hear for the life of him…so I get to say things to him over and over too…)

My hobbies include tending my large inventory of laundry stain remover, never going to the bathroom by myself, and over-using Visine for both allergies and lack of sleep.  If marathon-running through hell with gasoline underpants was a thing, then I’m pretty sure motherhood would keep in stride.

The food my kids eat is important but sometimes it boils down to sanity over principle –  Because making gluten free, whole wheat, non-dairy, granola munching, tree-hugging, homemade vegan everything takes an inordinate amount of time.  So sometimes it’s simply an ol' PB&J for dinner.  Because it’s hard to find hours in a day for food prep in the life of a part-time employee, full-time mom who during the “down times” pays bills, attends church, cleans toilets, shuttles kids to doctors and ENTs and neurosurgeons and soccer practice and gymnastics camp, and who barely has enough time to brush her own teeth in the morning.  And forget about gum health.  Pfft!  Show me the supermom who carves out time for flossing?!?! 

Our home environment is a sanctuary for the little people I love…except when it isn’t because sometimes it’s not.  Because the laundry piles.  Or the trash piles.  Or because it’s been more than a few minutes since I last vacuumed.  Sometimes our home doesn’t smell like lilacs and instead has the stench of a little boy who played really hard and had a great time doing it…other times it has the lingering smell of bacon from the ‘breakfast for dinner’ we had last night.  My home can look really good on the outside sometimes, but deep down inside, it’s the place where countless socks are lost from their mate.  And you know the math. . . Wherever one sock is lost, a Tupperware lid is born. 

I am gentle but fierce and strive to discipline out of love.  And on hard days, despite my best efforts, I sometimes lose my cool.  

I react instead.  

Oftentimes, I have to come back to my 3-y/o and my 2-y/o and explain mommy is sorry.  Mommy was upset and mommy didn’t respond the way Jesus would’ve had her respond.  I ask for forgiveness and try again.  And discipline is a hard balance to strike.  Because these little people can be fairly responsible one minute but seconds later you find them devising a plan to have the smallest one go for a “circus ride” in the drum of the dryer.   And it’s these things right here that have helped to perfect my intensely annoyed mom-eye roll. 

But seriously.

I see you.  I’ve worked full-time outside the home and, at other times, I’ve stayed home full-time.  I’ve done both before and learned that at any given time, each has its challenges and joys…And that neither is always roses.  But you’re killing it, you moms out there.  Because I see you – the ones of us who struggle to make ends meet on a single income.  I see you – the ones of us who host housefulls of folks but still feel just a stitch of loneliness.  I see you – the ones of us whose cleaning-up-after never ceases to be done…the ones of us who tussle with a fit-throwing toddler who doesn’t want to sit in the cart at the store…and the ones of us who haven’t made a bed in days.  I see you.  And all the things that make us – that make me – feel just a little less-than, I see those things too.  And truthfully, those aren’t the things that make me, me.  You either…

You’ll have bad days of course…crying days even, and that’s when you go to your bedroom and kneel on the floor.  Or reach for your Bible.  Or both.  Then get up, having gained better insight...  You have, after all, managed to keep tiny humans alive.  …you and the Lord, anyway.   Wipe the tears from your eyes, lay your pride down, and try again.  Above all else, seek Him.

Because life, my sweet people, is not for us or simply our happiness.  Life is God’s design and for His purposes. His end is holiness and He will use all things in a life devoted to Him to that end…including our attitudes about mis-matched Tupperware and lost socks.

From the Fullness of His Grace,

Lacey