Our stories die with us unless we
write them down.
There have been a few things in
our life that have sort of defined us.
When I was in first grade, I met my first bully. A burly, sorta strewn about, mostly
dirt-covered, sandy-blonde second grader named Anson. He wore stained striped shirts and tattered
denim jeans every day. As is
characteristic of bullies, Anson picked on me.
He pushed me in the recess line, jumped on the snow-fort my friends and
I had built, and pulled my hair. He’s
the reason my front left tooth got broken.
He picked on other kids, too. His
list of offenses piled high…he took other kids’ lunches, put his mouth on the
water fountain, and spit gum into someone’s hair. He jumped off the teeter totter letting kids
plummet to the ground. One time, he
smeared ketchup all over the bathroom.
He got in big trouble for that. And
as they scolded him, I remember seeing huge alligator tears pouring down his
cheeks. He left at semester’s end and
didn’t come back after Christmas.
Countless times, I’ve thought
about Anson. I don’t even remember his
last name. I can’t say I ever saw his
mom or dad. But I remember him.
Switching gears a little…try to keep up with me…
I have a bad habit of saying “the
other day.” It can mean years ago or
literally just minutes ago. Anyway, the
other day (specifically, about 9 months ago), I took Sawyer and Addison to the
park. We go early, usually around 8 or
so, before it gets too hot and too busy.
We had been there maybe an hour when two moms showed up, each with a
baby on her hip; but one of the moms also had an older child. A boy.
He was maybe 4 or 5? The moms
parked their outside blanket in between the two sets of playground
equipment. At the time, Sawyer was not
quite 3 and Addison was about a year and a half. This older boy came over where we were. Bedhead, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajamas,
and cowboy boots. As I sat, I watched
them interact. The newcomer was
quick. All over the playground…across
the swaying bridge, through the tunnel, spinning the blocks, down the
slide. He blew by Addison and
Sawyer. She retreated a bit and came
down to the ground, closer to me. A few
minutes later and it started. He pushed
Sawyer once. The moms were a good
distance away, certainly too far to correct or even see what was
happening. I told Sawyer to move
away. And Sawyer told him, I
don’t like that. Two more incidents
transpired – he pushed Sawyer again and then he threw sand in Sawyer’s face. I gently corrected but each time, Sawyer told
him I don’t like that. At the
base of the set, there are big climbing blocks instead of stairs. Addison was regaining her brave. She started to climb up the first block; then
the second. She was almost to the top
when the newcomer pushed past her, causing her to almost fall. She let out a yelp. She wasn’t hurt but the unsteadiness scared
her. As I went to help her down, the
following scene unfolded so fast. When
he pushed past Addison, he got to the top where he was met by Sawyer. Sawyer had just witnessed this little guy
push his kid sister. The newcomer
brought his arm backwards, gearing up to hit Sawyer but before I could stop it,
Sawyer punched him…HARD…laying the newcomer out flat on his back. Sawyer leaned in and said for one final time,
I said, I don’t like that! I had
Sawyer apologize. As we walked to the
car, I explained why it’s not ok to hit someone you don’t like.
That night, I was recounting for
Adam that morning’s events. I was a
little embarrassed by Sawyer’s actions – my face flushed. I was a little angry at those mommas, not
attending to their little guy. I was
little humiliated that I didn’t move quicker to stop it. Immediately, my heart brought Anson to my
mind.
Over the years, when I’ve thought
of my first bully, it hasn’t been with anger.
It’s been with some kind of weird, foreign fondness. I know, I know – I told you it was
weird. But seriously, y’all, who likes
their bullies?!?! Sure, I’m willing to
bet I didn’t…not in the beginning at least.
But I’ve wondered whatever happened to him [Anson]. I don’t know what kind of home Anson came
from. I don’t know who or how his mom
and dad were. I’ve wondered about his
life’s hurdles. Did he go to
college? Is he married? Has he buried a baby, too? Or one of his parents, maybe?
When He was here, Christ said
some crazy, radical stuff. Stuff like, love
your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44). I don’t know if you know, but Jesus had some
bullies, too.
He spoke of The Living
Water. He healed lepers and lame and blind
people. He told the sea to be still and
dead men to walk again. He put on display His power through miracles
to the glory of God. And He loved.
He is love. For God so
loved…
Love is intensely practical.
Forgive them, Father, for they know not…
For the believer, love is radically redemptive.
The law showed us we are not
able. Not one single ounce of our being
is good. Not anything within in us is
righteous. We are lost. We walk in the dark. We are enslaved to our sin. But this bears repeating: For
the believer, love is radically redemptive.
I don’t know who you are. Where you are. What you’re about.
But I know this: For the seed to give life to the oak, the
acorn splits apart. Into two. Upward the tree grows but deep, the roots
go. Today, you might be in that dark,
fragile place where it feels like the walls are closing in; like an acorn just
before it gives way to new life. And
right now, things are splitting apart and breaking open. And maybe those cracks hurt a little…? You are, after all, being turned inside out. If someone were to look at you right this
minute, they might conclude that you are coming undone, falling apart, at the
end of your story.
Moses died, never seeing the
promised land (Numbers 20:12). Abram and
Sarai were pagan, moon-worshipping senior citizens (Joshua 24:2). Jeremiah believed the Lord deceived him
(Jeremiah 20:7). David murdered a man to
cover up his affair (2 Samuel 11:5-27). This
is not the A-team and yet, God used all of these men in His redemptive
story. I don’t know why but I suppose
one reason might be that given their problems, it was evidence all the more,
that there was no doubt Who got the credit when the credits rolled.
In spite of ourselves…our past
failures and present struggles…the plan of God moves inevitably forward through
broken people. There are so many threads in God’s tapestry of redemption. And Light can only get into broken things. And for you and for me, that’s good
news. Because all there are, are broken
people. The Bible goes to great lengths
to assure us of this…
The Bible bids me that I am, that
you are, sinners.
But we can’t just stay
there. Because He’s called us out
our sin, out of the darkness, and into His presence.
This progression is a
process. Oftentimes, it includes the
Lord exposing where we have false idols and where we have believed and trusted
other things to lead us. It’s God’s mercy to reveal to us when
we’re chasing after things that are false in order to cause us to run headlong
towards Him. And when we get exposed for
pursing the wrong thing we become painfully aware that our other pursuits have
been in vain. Sometimes this looks like a brother or sister coming alongside
and sometimes it’s simply, mercifully, the discipline of the Lord.
And it’s true, that the only fruit we can bear with our lives through
the grace of the Lord, is fruit born from complete obedience and submission to God
in Christ. How often is it that
tragedy, hardship, and difficulties cause us to draw closer? When you’re in the midst of serious trouble
in your marriage… Or when someone close to you gets that life-altering diagnosis… Or when a child dies… These tragedies cannot be overstated and yet,
God would have us to walk through hardships in this life in an effort to refine
and shape us into the image of Christ. Because the only pursuit that’s worthwhile
is that of Christlikeness. And
trials such as these cause us too, to be made acutely aware of our need for the
Savior. What the puritans would call Severe
Mercies of God are in fact, just that: opportunities to be made more, and
more pure as we learn to walk through the fire.
With Jesus. Come what may.
From the Fullness of His Grace,
Lacey
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect, and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:3-4
For I consider that the
sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory
that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious
longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of
God. For the creation was subjected to
futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the
creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the
freedom of the glory of the children of God.
For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of
childbirth until now. And not only this
but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves
groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption
of our body. For in hope we have been
saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already
sees? But if we hope for what we do not
see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. … But in all these things we
overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor
life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come,
nor powers, nor height, not depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to
separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:18-25; 37-39
So, as those who have been
chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each
other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so
also should you. Beyond all these things
put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts
to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the Word of Christ richly dwell within
you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns
and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in
the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Colossians
3:12-17
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