The Backstory:
We already had all three
children. Addison was just a
teensy-weensy two-month old but between her and the jealous 16-month old
brother, his persistent reflux, and a husband who worked out-of-state most
days, my sanity was beginning to wane. I
posted some flaky meme and a half-hearted cry for help on social media and I
promptly received the following encouragement: “Do the next thing.” –Elisabeth
Elliot
Huh? What am I supposed to do with that?
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o·ver·whelm (verb)
bury or drown beneath a huge
mass.
defeat completely.
give too much of a thing to
someone; inundate.
Sometimes motherhood overwhelms
me. It buries me and drowns me. I don’t know for sure if being buried
underneath two relatively average-sized children denotes a “huge mass” but the
amount of the burdens they bring, I assure you, does.
I’m not in as deep as some of
you. I’ve only been in this place
for roughly six years … six years including our first pregnancy and firstborn
who never came home…and even though we “lost” Parker, I still count that as
motherhood. But the point is this: that while
I may lack some seniority and wisdom that inherently comes with longevity in
the job, it doesn’t take long to learn that there are a couple fundamental
aspects to a home full of little ones.
Chaos. Mess. Lots
of loud. Curiosity. And oomph.
Take the conglomeration of these
things bottled into the two tiny vessels I have living in my home and a smidge of
all out pandemonium is just part of our every day.
Unanticipated distractions are
inevitably part of anyone’s life – but with little people? – little people
operate with a domino effect, quickly stacking up on another. A rather mundane, even tranquil morning is
set ablaze by the wrong spoon color or someone’s rowdy arm knocking over a cup
of milk. The spill triggers the cry of the 3-y/o; muttering incoherent words and the unmistakable
shoulder quiver that accompanies the sobbing. Not even 10 seconds later and his little
sister starts the velociraptor cry – it’s a discernible, sympathetic, dinosaur cry…you know this
cry…it’s the
I’m-crying-because-he’s-crying-and-therefore-he’s-getting-all-the-attention
cry. By this point, the boogers are as
free-flowing as the tears seem to be.
Usually, it’s around this time that the oven timer starts to sound, your
phone begins to ring, or you look up in time to see the sink overflowing from
the faucet you never shut off.
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| Tiny Mess # 1 |
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| Tiny Mess # 2 |
It’s really a rather simple
setback. And you’re the adult. But quite frankly, it’s hard to keep your
sanity in the midst of chaos.
And then I remember that confusing
bit of encouragement I got some two years ago… do the next thing… So I pull out my phone and google the phrase,
do the next thing.
And you probably already know
what I didn’t … but it’s part of a bigger poem that’s often attributed to
Elliot, but in reality, she quoted the anonymous author.
Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, do the next thing.
And so, back to square one – do the next thing. Wipe up the now-dripping milk, seeping
through the table crack. Pull out a
fresh pair of shorts for the 3-y/o, turn off the oven, and console the little
sister. I can either do it all in
frustration or I can choose to do it in reverence with appreciation that this
is part of my holy calling right now; that cleaning up spilled milk and tending
to messy noses is just part of my lot.
And learning to embrace chaos gracefully is hard and arduous and
beautiful. Because it is the being part of the being-redeemed; a redemption, at times,
by fire but what remains is the quality of work as tested by forge. And not even me, but Christ in me.
It feels like a lifetime ago now
that we only had one child at home and I’m sure parents of multiples can
relate. It’s funny to think that more
responsibilities breed more productivity, but I get it, because the more time I
have, the less productive I am. The
things that grab our attention throughout the day give our time purpose. So what is it that grabs your attention? Are those things holy things? Because that’s what gives your time purpose,
ya’ know.
We must learn to own our days
with reverence instead of our days owning us. By doing the next thing…and by
doing it with a gentle spirit and an attitude of reverence … slowly, it begins
to replace the overwhelm with the holy.
And faith working itself out into
action – that faith – it moves you toward obedience every day in
every circumstance in every way.
Even in the trivialities of
mothering. But know that it doesn’t stay
that way…because while some things are trivial, other things are huge.
Unanticipated distractions have
been the one thing I’ve been able to count on in the last year. Monumental things - like the period of four
months leading to the point that Addison got her diagnosis. … Or how the place
where we do life has come undone. … And when
close friendships have grown distant.
Sometimes, wise words are for the
rather simple moments of challenging parenthood. But sometimes, and especially in the walk of
the being-redeemed, those rather simple moments of drudging through a morning
of messes and fussy tiny humans is practice – holy practice – for times when we encounter the messes of
life and fussy grown-up people. I am
convinced that like marriage (and so many other parts of life), parenthood is
part of the way He chooses to sanctify us.
To grow us up so that when we have “spilled milk” of spiritual
proportions we are trained and ready to do the next thing.
And can I just say this, too? To show up.
To carry your load. To be who He’s called you to be. To be about His business. That’s obedience and it takes faith.
So, do the next thing. Even when people, and places, and friendships
come undone, do the next thing with a gentle heart and an attitude of reverence. Keep walking this walk of the redeemed!
For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all aspects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light. Colossians 1:9-12
From the Fullness of His Grace,
Lacey
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